National Assault Week

It happens every year like some kind of angry tradition, Brother Bill comes in to town to visit family for the holidays. Ohio is where he does his day to day but his Brother and Sister-in-law live in Virginia. They have been gracious enough to open their home to there beloved relatives for the much anticipated Christmas celebration and everyone is having a big time until…Jim and Jack show up. That’s right,  Jim Beam and Jack Daniels can add life to any party and wouldn’t you know it, it was Jack who made Brother Bill say to his gracious host, “You know you are awful lucky to have a wife like Sue, she’s a great lady. I’m glad you don’t treat her like you treated your other wives. She’s a great lady and she deserves the best…if she knew what an asshole you were while we were growing up she probably would have never married you in the first place. Yep you were the biggest asshole in town and for many years I was embarrassed to be your brother.” That is usually how the assault equation is created. Jack Daniels+Rude comments + insults in front of wife and kids= punch in the mouth. By the time I get to meet brother Bill (at the local jail) every one is calmed down, hung over and most of the time embarrassed and apologetic. When you go to your in-laws house for Christmas be a blessing, not a drunk. If you do decide to drink and start a ruck-ass, have your bail bondsman on speed dial.

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